I’ve been having a great time collecting humorous quotations for my e-book on Kindle – 200 Humorous Tweetable Quotations.
For my first blog post, I decided to list the ten I found the funniest. Some of them will make you laugh out loud, others may make you smile but all of them are sure to make you feel more cheerful.
So here goes – ten random booster doses of hilarity:
1. “You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.” Ellen DeGeneres
2. “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” George W. Bush
3. “The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.” Will Rogers
4. “I tried to think but nothing happened!” Curly Howard
5. “You can observe a lot by just watching.” Yogi Berra
6. “I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.” Source Unknown
7. “I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.” Mark Twain
8. “When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.” Will Rogers
9. “A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’” Claude Pepper
10. “I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” Jackie Mason
And a bonus:
11. “I was drowning, not waving.” Stevie Smith
So which one did you like the best?
And which is your all-time favorite funny quote?
Add them in the comments below.
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